What I’m about to say ain’t gonna right your past with your Mom, but it may give you a bit of insight on what you could do.
I highlighted so much cuz I could’ve sworn this was something I wrote, this was my testament.
Men ruled my Mom’s life as well. If there wasn’t one around, things were hard. Not as hard as they could’ve been, but hard enough for a teen raising rambunctious boys.
There came a breaking point in my adult life, my early twenties to be exact; my Mom missed my college graduation because she was mourning a man (who was still very much alive), our then Step-Dad who decided to up and leave her too. Her first-born’s graduation from college and she missed it. It’s a sad thing to notice a swarm of people in a crowd, all of them coming up to you, looking at you, loving you, but the one person with your eyes, isn’t there.
I gave her the business.
At that point, I was tired of being quiet, tired of bottling things up, and I exploded. I told her how I felt, how I knew we all felt, and it forced her to stop, look within herself, and acknowledge her demons.
I’m in my late thirties now, closer to 40, than 30, & we are good. We aren’t great, but we’re getting there. And, that’s because I placed a mirror in front of her and demanded that she sat there with her reflection until she realized that the cycle was ending with me.
I would not carry my past along with me, inflict it on others, then blame them because they couldn’t handle it. I cut the line. I burned that sucker and never looked back.
My Mom will tell you today that the best thing to happen to her is our relationship. She’d say it with a neck roll and fire coming from her lips cuz of the Bronx in her too. And, honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
We have a long way to go and God willing, I’ll live to see it through.
I hope the two of you can make amends. My Mom never got that with either of her parents. I refused to let that be our history.
I apologize for the length of this, but you opened the door, took that baby offa the hinges, and I couldn’t bear to see it in that state.