I don’t think there’s ever a “right time" for “coming out,” there’s just timing. And, when it is “bursting at the seams" like it seemed to have been doing your stepson, getting it off of his chest may have been best in that moment. He may never have done it if that opportunity didn’t present itself.
His family was there, everyone, and in one feel swoop, he was able to release it without having to do so later. Yes, his Dad mentioned not doing it, because you guys had a re-wedding, but… the heart & mind have bigger plans, sometimes so much so, we’re either going to abide by them, or lose our minds a little more.
Family and friends wanted to be talking about his news, they could’ve continued on expressing their sentiment about your day, they didn’t have to fall prey to discussion. They were given news to use and they chose to use it in that way.
I’m not struck by things that appear natural or common to me, had I been receiving the news, I would’ve nodded, commended him for sharing, I may have asked a few questions, but I would’ve moved on from it a few moments later.
People will buzz about things no matter the location, time, or event. Especially things society has dubbed “gossip worthy.” I understand you feel that your day was not properly celebrated, I get that you wanted it all to be perfect. It sucks, in a sense, that it wasn’t. But, could this really have been the worst thing to occur? Ask yourself that and dwell on it a bit.
I apologize, because I’m sure your stepson hasn’t, for what appeared to be an insensitive action. And, for his sake and yours, I wish I could rewind time for all of you. But, the same thing may have occurred.
I apologize for the length of this… I just wanted to answer as thoughtfully as I could.