Jernee Knows When I Need Peace
And, she gives it to me.
I do not know where to begin. Shall I try to explain just how deeply I feel for a being who cannot converse with me, but knows exactly what I am saying when I am speaking to her? She pays attention.
She Does Not Question My Motives.
And, good thing, too. I mean, had she decided to speak, I will tell you certainly, that would be my last day inviting her participation. No, ma’am. No, thank you. Don’t you dare open your mouth unless you plan on barking. Yes, let’s keep it this way. A speechless conversation laced in occasional barks… That is how I like my dog-to-human conversation ratio. No changes, please.
This month has not been the best for me. May never really is, though. But, I am pushing through. I come home from work and the only thing I want to do is find this ball of furry excellence waiting for me. It is the highlight of my day.
It Is Refreshing!
I forget the pain, the anxiety, the anguish, the everythinglumpedupintoone and I drown in her everlasting love. It is the best place to be when a herd of feet decide to walk all over you. There are days where all I want to do is disappear. Snap my fingers and be gone.
But, how selfish of me would that be? The Magical Disappearance of Tremaine (coming to a theater near you). Who would conjure up the gossip? Flailing tongues would surely love to get their hands on the story. But, no matter. I have no intentions of honoring their requests. Not today.
There are days when I just need a moment. I am lying. I need like ten moments on these days of which I speak…I do not know how she knows, but she allows me peace. After she has been walked, fed, played with for a few minutes, she senses my discomfort. On these days, she gazes into my eyes, questions my soul, then steps back as if to say, “You’re having a day, huh? Okay, I will just sit here next to you until you stop crying.”
Each time, it works. She is magical. My personal muttgician.
I Await Her Tricks.
Today was/is one of those days. She has given me all of the love I needed and allowed me to shower a bit on her as well. I began reading posts, responding to a few, she walked away from my space; calm enough and knowing that I am okay now.
She never needs more than I can give. Small doses of attention satisfy her seeking soul. I can go overboard, sometimes. I will make everything about her on these days, but then I catch myself and it is usually when she gives me the look you see directly above. This is the, “Mom, today is about you, okay? Let us focus on YOU!” look.
And, we do. And, I am in awe of her voiceless suggestion day-in and day-out. She seems to know me well. I find it best not to second guess her judgment. If I were given one wish, one simple wish, it would be to have Jernee’s brain and heart for a day.
HOW BIG love is to her. HOW SMALL it is to humans. She needs the smallest piece of ME that I can give her. She requires nothing else. It is the eighth year I have had her and I am much better with her.