Okay, now that I have my bearings about me:
Dave, you are brave for this. It takes courage, I would assume, to stand forth as a parent and honor/appreciate/try to understand a certain situation from children of parents w/ similar situations.
I commend you.
You took the first step to what I also assume is a healing process.
Your daughter obviously holds a ton of admiration for you to even “confide” in you. That’s something my Mom and I do not do much of; talk about the past. We may make reference, we may point to snippets and events, but we do not full on discuss what was our down-trodden times.
We are currently just loving each day as it comes, learning each other all over again, she, more open than me, but I am definitely willing to say a bit more now than I ever have been able to say.
My Dad?!?! Whole other can of worms. I feel like I am an adult and I should not pick his brain on things that happened so long ago. I see it as being selfish; he has a young (er) woman to raise and he’s doing his best. My kid sister ADORES him.
She often wants to talk about our Dad, what he’s done, how he’s helped, what he does for her and the connect for me, is simply not there. My DAD times ended at 12… They began to get lesser and lesser, however, he is gaining ground because he is totally THERE for her and that is beautiful to me.
I wish you peace and that with time, you’ll get through it better than you are doing now. Tears can be sweet. ~