Today, the oddest thing happened as I was checking out at my local grocery store. I casually walked up to the register, examining all of my items, preparing my colds to be scanned before my wets, then my dries & chemicals last. *Shh* I am this meticulous at shopping. Yes, it can be annoying for those not in-the-know about this little tid-bit of my shopping life, but it’s so necessary. As I was saying, I was preparing the items to be scanned.
When the previous customer checked out, I handed the young man faking happiness to see me, my rewards card (yes, because every penny counts!). He greeted me, I greeted him, and we were off to the races. I watched each item scale across the conveyor belt, each flowing to the end of the terminal, landing at a dead end for later retrieval. All was going well; discounts discounting, prices correct as they pop up on the screen, nothing had busted or was out of its original appearance. Then… Then, it happened…
“Ooh, you like this too? I love this soap!” Before I could answer, he leaned into my soap, inhaled, then ahhed like Heaven had just made his acquaintance. I stood there, dumbfounded at first, then annoyed. I felt my right eyebrow raise and my nose screw up. The pace of my heart quickened and I pleaded with myself,*Please Tre, don’t trip in this store today. Please. He won’t do it again.*But, guess what? He DID do it again.“I just love this soap!” *beep* That’d be the sound of one of my bars of soap, the very one he just sniffed the ingredients from finally being scanned.
I asked myself, *What would Jernee do?* Naturally, I was trying to summon the less disgusted Tre into the place because I wanted my soap, but I didn’t want my soap, ya dig? I thought of Jernee giving this young man the stare-down, pawing his hand, then tilting her head. That look of “You really just did that” burns deeper than most. I imagined him realizing he had done something way out in left field, then apologizing.“Ooh my goodness. Ma’am, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have sniffed your soap before you.” That’s right young man, how dare you get first dibs on the sniff!!! This is my money I’m spending!
But really, Jernee would’ve bitten him. I’m sure of it. Ole soap sniffer.
Author’s note: Just in case you were wondering, Jernee is my dog. We collaborate on some things. Soap sniffing is not one of them.