And, you smiled.
Today, I saw you in the flowers. And, I was not ready for your appearance. 13 years have passed.
I thought I had forgotten you.
I wonder what you are doing there, in heaven.
That’s where you are, right? I could not imagine you being anywhere else. Jernee smelled you before I saw your face. You were hiding behind the yellows, sassing with the greens, and even let me see a bit of orange splashed on your shirt.
It was clear as the morning sky. I saw it. I pulled Jernee’s leash a bit, tugging her from your glow. My initial feeling was fear. But, you would never hurt me. You always came to me in waves, oceaning my life with your love.
There, I said it. Now, you know. So, you can come back.
It is the proper time to be with us. We have all grown. We have our own spaces. I have even stopped cursing.
I wrote a poem about you, several. Well, more than several. I have an entire book, actually. Mom thinks I did you justice.
But, I would trash every word if it meant holding you near, inhaling your goodness.
I have tried to tell the boys stories about you, lost fables that I miss mostly.
They do not listen. They have their own fantasies. And, I am just the crazy sister trying to make sure your memory is safe and secure.
They Pay Me No Mind.
But, then there’s Jernee. I am not alone. You would want this. You worried about my heart when no one else did. You thought if broken, I would never regain strength.
Someone pieced it back together again. It took some time. But…
IT IS WHOLE.
I saw you in the flowers today. Did you know that I would come? Were you planning this all along?
I have said this already, yes? Yes, I have. It is true.
But, I do miss you. I do.
But the flowers, those flowers are your new home. I yearn to see you again.
Maybe I Will.
Author’s Note: I have read some amazing writers here so far, this week. I am grateful to share this space with: Alicia, Markus Russin, JusTee, Jonas Ellison, Anna Present, Sawyer Bingham, and Orisirisi.