You wanted to know. You asked. That is brave. For me, I work in an environment where Trump is beloved, so… there is an everyday sting of my existence. I do not belong. The strength of my work ethic, how I carry on with patients, the money I bring into the company, sure… Yes. These things work well for the Title. The Position. My race? The very skin where I reside? Not so much.
But, I still work amongst those who flaunt “Make America Great Again” bumper stickers and secretly pray for an extinction. It is hard, Sean. That is an understatement. Extremely. I am supposed to be asleep, instead, I am trying to convey something I do not believe will make sense to most.
A month or so ago, my Mom was walking home from the corner store, minding her business, and two officers stopped her, questioning her next move, asking for identification and the like. My Mom is 55. She lives a block away from this store. I won’t go into detail, but… a fear still lives in her regarding taking that same walk to the corner store when she wants to go. A fear. Living in her. For a walk. To a store. Why?
I walk Jernee late at night and I do a mental check of things I need to walk my dog during these times. Any time a patrolling vehicle passes by, I stop. I automatically stop. I have been conditioned to await action that may or may not occur and… Why?
It is 2016, but it’s not.
And this is what hurts the most.
You asked. You were brave enough. Some of us are just so tired of living it, truly living it, we do not know how to make others understand.
I love you. I know that to be true. And I wish you luck on your journey.